So...I just took a test...

[SHATOUSHKA]

now i shall explain the greek system, which, to me,
seems so obvious....

the system was set up in two ways:

#1 -- you were born into a certain caste family
and that determined the type of education you
would receive (based on the teachers).

#2 -- you showed a definite 'natural' ability
towards a certain skill and therefore you would
proceed within the range of that skill.

most teachers were nomadic, apprentice-based
lecturers that received students based on consignment.

a man could be well known for his painting ability
and a family would 'hire' (for lack of a better
word) him to teach their son his skill. the
child would typically spend all day with the
'teacher' observing and in practice.

although the children rarely went outside of
the single teacher for different educations
(similar to gen-ed of today)... most were also
taught outside information. for example, if
you were an apprentice for a painter, it may
have been beneficial to also learn a bit of
anatomy or science... but no more than is necessary
to complete the field of painting. (dissection
was a good know-all for painting)

pottery makers would probably learn a bit about
elements, melding and various other earth 'sciences'
but again, only so much as is needed to comprehend
the basics of pottery.

many times students remained with their teachers
in a similar 'boarding school' type of circumstance,
to insure thorough guidance in all aspects of the
skill.

teachers were paid based upon their particular
skill and how well they performed it.

this type of situation was mostly for the fine arts
but could also be applied toward readings, orations,
and other types of public service.

to me, this type of system ensured a deep appreciation
for the learned subject as well as ample hands-on
training.

had a student not shown potential, the teacher
would typically reject the offerings from the
family to guide the child.

this encouraged young people to select a definite
area of interest and apply their interest in an
extreme fashion.

for further ideas of the greek system, use a
search engine... or read something like plato's
REPUBLIC... which is a larger scale of this
system applied to all of a society.
ie-- the 'guardians' or military of a city only
associated with other military individuals, etc.
similar to huxley's BRAVE NEW WORLD, each 'group'
associated with others of that type... and were
taught to regard all others as 'lesser'... to a
degree.
like with the 'guardians'... they were taught
to see the people they protected as weak and
incapable of being a 'guardian'... therefore,
the 'guardians' were proud to be what they were,
and the role of the 'guardian' was strong.

i'm sure this has just thrown a kink into what
i was saying... but it helps to see that there
are definite advantages to a system of that.

[ek3]

got the last test back...made a 40...the test was curved 19 points...final grade 59...eh...

Anyway...almost everyday once I leave school...I have these relentless thoughts on how much I hate school...I want out so bad...I don't like my work...I don't like the office environment...it's depressing...and if I stay at school...that is exactly where I will end up...I need a change badly....but I don't know where to go...and have no direction at the moment...ideally I would like to jump in the truck and drive somewhere...doesn't really matter where...and then worry about surviving once I arrived...hell...I dunno...just thought I would type this since my mind is racing so much at the moment...

[SHATOUSHKA]

you should do that.....

and i'm being dead serious

[GravyTrain]

I agree, although you will be greatly missed. I have often times wanted to do just that. Get in my truck after work one day, get on I-40 (east or west, doesn't matter) and drive. and keep driving until i run out of gas, or run out of gas-money, or just don't feel like driving anymore. I would suggest that as well. but make sure you come back...or at least take your computer so we will still be able to play video games when i get my computer up to par.

[SHATOUSHKA]

i disagree on the 'communication' thing.
if one doesn't know where to be in life,
one must traverse it alone.

when i went to GA, i didn't tell a friggin soul.
at the time, my mental state was such that i
didn't give a rats ass about anything here... or
wtf happened to me.
i was deeply lost... and felt that nothing exciting
or of worth was to come from this friggin place.

when i made it to GA, it was prolly close to a
month or so before i called home... telling
everyone wtf i was. it was in that moment that
i realized i had some sort of ultimate control
over my life... a sense of freedom that i have
never felt before.... or since.

almost 2 years after leaving... i came to the
conclusion that what i was wanting could have
come from anywhere... just depending on how i
saw things. i realized that my thinking before i
left for GA was of utter angst and desperation.

the day that i decided to come home... was really
spellbinding. i had a new look on where i was,
where i came from, and who i am.
i had the epiphany of what i found important in
life and what i wanted from it.
i came back... and proceeded to do just that.

i'm in no way suggesting that this is the course
for wes. nor am i saying that he'd actually do
such a thing like that.

but what i am saying is...
its inside him right now... all he has to do is
figure out what key will open that door.

[gnosis_within]

i don't think that leaving is 'the' answer. ek3 has (apparently) changed his overall view of life. he cannot relate to the world (school, work, family, etc) in the same way. everyone goes through this at some point, and in my view there are 2 roads to take.

maybe i have been reading too much philosophy, but.... the self is open. your self is created by the relationships you have with others, and is by no means permanent. the belief that there is a 'YOU' behind the you that appears in everyday situations leads to the first solution to your problem, which is that 'YOU' are still the same, but are experiencing a mental aberration (midlife crisis, teenage rebellion, etc) that can be overcome by trying to get back to 'normal.' this will work over time. talk to most adults, they will tell you that this is what they did. my dad has told me that he had the same feelings i had before, but he eventually got over them. just by practice, you can return to the same life you had before. though i am sure the haunting thought of what might have been will surface from time to time, but you can just go to the office and get some more work done to get your mind off of it.

the other option you have is to actually make a change. of course, leaving would make it easier. in a new situation with new people, you have no outside expectations to live up to. you may find new ways of relating to the world and become a new person. but you may also do this at home. it will probably be more difficult because you will have to overcome outside expectations. get a new job, change your major, move to a new place, make new friends. there is nothing keeping you where you are (not just physically but mentally also). don't look to other people for the answers, just do what you feel like doing. all you can do is learn. i am sure you will feel better about yourself if you do.

postscript:

why is it that while i am in the computer lab, african-american people never move to let me by? it always has to be the european-americans. a-holes!

[GravyTrain]

1. you just restated what had been said previously and added another explanation which isn't really the case....it is not a midlife crisis, not teenage rebellion, etc...there needs to be a change, just leave it at that.

2. they are black....that says it all

[Hannibal]

I once took a class, with a hard teacher... *my friend who actually studied every day, yada yada, had never gotten an A in this guys class, he was HAPPY with a B.. and he studied all the time*
I didn't even buy the book for the course, never attended, did no homework, just took tests, ended up with a 78 in the class.
[img]tongue.gif[/img] schools for chodes.

[SHATOUSHKA]

hey, fibonacci (i despise this new name, btw)...

there is a difference in leaving to find yourself
and staying to supress the problem. we both know
that bringing your dad into the issue is no real
way to describe the 'triumph' of man over nature.

everyone needs a path or door that leads to self
reflection. for some its merely a matter of reading
the right book... for others, its actually taking
the steps needed to find it.

you can sit in the fishbowl and deal...
eventually surrendering your passions to the great
angst of 'the real'....
or you can escape the bowl to find the world
beyond... and within.

i am in no way trying to glamorize an escape.
it is very frightening, very anxious, very real.
one cannot fathom the fear of falling unless one
falls. sure, they can imagine... but what is more
real?

are you trying to suggest that a person can
understand themselves by remaining within a closet...
without the necessary knowledge it takes to
know what they are doing?

are you giving a 'concept before language' epiphany???

tsk tsk...

[GravyTrain]

nigger chink slant-eyed turban-head...i don't give a flying rat's ass.....sue me